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SoVaNow.com / August 25, 2014For Charles and Mike, the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to halt gay marriages is something the couple sees as a temporary setback to their future wedding plans.
“Marriage is important to us because we know that we’re not recognized as a couple for important things and some things that are not important for other people,” Mike said.
For Charles, marriage to Mike is more than just what is in their future together. Over 10 years ago, he was in an 18-year relationship with Randy, who died of cancer. The couple was living in West Virginia when the diagnosis was made. “If it wasn’t for the fact that his family accepted our relationship, it would have been a bigger nightmare than what it was,” Charles said.
Charles explained that Randy and he had made a life together. Like any other young married couple, they each worked and invested in property together. They also had to buy separate individual health insurance, create iron-clad wills, and deal with a few occasions of bigoted outrage from those who would not accept them as a couple. “Life with Randy was kind of difficult at times, but he was my soulmate. He made me laugh, just like anyone you love can make you laugh,” he said.
“Then, he got sick,” Charles added.
As the cancer overtook their lives, Randy was hospitalized. “That was the worst. There were times that I knew he needed better care, and I couldn’t be his champion. I’d call his sister in Maryland, and she was able to help sometimes, but it was ridiculous how many times I would ask questions and be shut out,” Charles said.
After Randy died, the paperwork was a nightmare. “If it wasn’t for the will that Randy put together, I would have lost everything we had made together.”
Charles met Mike two years later on a local online chatroom. Mike said that he and his wife had raised their children together and once their son and two daughters were grown, the marriage was over. “My ex is an amazing mother, but we weren’t really, I don’t know the words for it.”
After the divorce, Mike met Charles online. They’ve been together since 2005. They have talked about moving from Virginia to another state that would recognize gay marriage. However, both have been with their careers for a long time and do not want to start over. They hope that by this time next year they can exchange vows and be legally recognized as a couple.
“We’re not asking for anyone’s blessing. We just want the same legal rights as other married couples,” said Mike. 1202
CommentsI would expect a liberal paper like this to come out in favor of homosexual marriage. Marriage is between one woman an one man! These people are not natural. Take the religion out of it, look at what they do, how can anyone tell me that is right? I am sick of the PC crowd taking over.
- By allpolitical2 on 08 / 25 / 14
CommentsIf I could marry my dog I'd be able to put that bastard on my health insurance too.
- By Equal rights on 08 / 25 / 14
CommentsThank both of you for continuing to bless the comment section of this newspaper with your all to "insightful" opinions and commentary. Why someone of your ilk, original commenter, would continue to read such a "liberal rag" is beyond me, but please continue to read and comment. It helps in easily identifying the idiotic ideas of your political party without having to decipher through all the "create jobs/ take "my" country back/ 2nd Amendment drivel that it is normally hidden in. Ah, the "slippery slope" from gay marriage to bestiality in only two comments. You forgot to hide it in between "Obama's a Muslim" and "lower my taxes." I realize that this is my opinion and it carries no greater weight than yours. The difference however is that I recognize what part of the human body opinions are synonymous with. Asking you to do the same may be a stretch because I would hate for you to catch "the gay" thinking of the body part.
- By anonymous on 08 / 25 / 14
CommentsThank you too. It seems we agree. There are limits on where certain things should be placed.
- By Equal slights on 08 / 25 / 14
CommentsRead the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, people! "Equal protection" ... "Due process." All people are equal under the law in this country, and to deny rights and privileges to one solely because of who they choose to love is as unconstitutional as it gets. Religion should have no role whatsoever in the operation of the civil government.
I cherish having been born in Halifax County and growing up there, but I most certainly do not miss the small-minded, bigots who crowd their way onto the public stage in my home.
- By Logan Anderson on 08 / 26 / 14
CommentsRead a little further and you'll find that religion and the Holy Bible are the foundation upon which your country's entire legal system was created.
I guess history should have no role whatsoever in the operation of reality.
- By Hooray for public education on 08 / 26 / 14
Comments(Some) Christians: you might actually want to see gay marriage legally recognized bc if it isn't, you people will eventually run out of things to hate. List of things that I was taught by a 'Christian preacher' that go against God: music..not just rock music, blues or country....ALL music except hymns. Even music written praising God but having drums or guitars...yep, all against God. Any book not dealing directly with Christian views...all against God. How dare some other people worship anything different...even those Jews...God's chosen people they may be, but they are all wrong. Any clothing not God-approved. Where do I obtain God-approved clothing...does he have a store or a website? Praying for animals is against God. Not giving the majority of your paycheck to your preacher(10% is so 14 AD)...that's especially against God and he just won't stand for that. Acceptance...try it on for size.
- By peace on 08 / 26 / 14
CommentsPray for your brothers and sisters. Don't oppress them, but instead pray that they find salvation if they haven't already. Also, don't pick and choose which parts of the Bible apply to you, and what parts apply to everyone else.
- By Crys on 08 / 26 / 14
CommentsLook. Having Gay marriage in our state, or any state for that matter, has no bearing on anyone else's life. Their right to marry does not infringe on your right to marry or not marry. And, for those who point to the Bible as the source for their belief on this topic, I'd say that they were picking and choosing the "best" parts of the book to believe.
Pick your battles.
- By Get Real on 08 / 26 / 14
CommentsI'd say you do not know what's in that book. It describes certain actions to avoid (sin) so one day you can get where you want to go. Let's just say that one is mentioned a couple of times.
- By Just did on 08 / 27 / 14
CommentsA good read: Rob Boston, "Taking Liberties: Why Religious Freedom Doesn't Give You The Right To Tell Other People What To Do".
In the laws laid out for the Jews in Leviticus, all concerning human sexual behavior have one thing in common: any sexual activity that couldn't produce a child was "unclean", thereby sinful. I suspect even some of you fundamentalists have engaged in sexual activity that couldn't produce a child, so should we really live by those laws now? Back then survival of a race depended on making as many offspring as possible, so naturally sex couldn't possibly be simply for pleasure.
Bet you've eaten shellfish and pork too.
Peace, at age 19 I had a Southern Baptist preacher tell me I was going to hell if I didn't renounce my episcopal-structured church and become a Baptist. Feisty little shivit that I was, I told him I'd hold the gates of hell open for him when he got there. You never saw a man sputter so...
- By powerhouse on 08 / 27 / 14
CommentsThinking deeper, a lot of fundamentalist Protestant churches are now claiming that not only are episcopal-structured churches invalid, unbiblical, and condemned to hell, but that the Jews are no longer relevant. Yet they will pound OT fire and brimstone in your face and liberally quote OT Scripture anywhere they can use it to justify their position. The OT is more or less a history of the Jewish people, so why do you now consider their history "irrelevant"?
I forget- in your worldview, your fundamentalist beliefs are the only valid beliefs and you feel you HAVE to impose them on everyone else.
Gay marriage isn't going to make a whit of difference in my life or yours. I hope for your childrens' sake none of them are gay. I know one gay man whose parents put him on the street at age 16 and cut off all contact, and in his mid-30s has never fully recovered from that. I also know for fact that many of the worst homophobes are hiding "secrets".
- By powerhouse on 08 / 27 / 14
CommentsThank you, Logan Anderson, for signing your given name to your comment.
- By Bee Edmunds Espy on 08 / 27 / 14
CommentsLet's see the pro-marriage people are for morality and family values, right? How do they explain The McDonnells? Guess it's ok to do what you want as long as it's not illegal under Man's laws.
used to be people got married in order to raise legitimate children. Well in recent years that certainly has gone out the window.
I like the bumpersticker that says "Support Gay Marriage-So they can be miserable like the rest of us."
When these so-called guardians of morality start addressing issues like homeless vets living under bridges and why it's Biblical to give my tax money to a rogue nation like Israel so they can murder little kids, then I might listen to what you have to say.
- By Timothy Hatley on 08 / 28 / 14
CommentsDon't you pay taxes Timothy? How many has your government killed since you've been alive?
- By What is moral? on 08 / 29 / 14
If it feels right.... If two people love each other.... You know the rest.
- By Just don't do it in Georgia on 08 / 29 / 14
CommentsWe don't need a government that promotes population growth.
- By Nevermind on 08 / 29 / 14
CommentsLet me start by saying that I do not base my political ideology around the tenets of one certain party. For example, I support lowering taxes, and I am personally pro-life and pro-gun. But I also believe that we as liberated Americans deserve the right to marry whomever we wish as well as the luxury of higher wages. The bestiality comment is the oldest (and most bigoted) trick in the book. If you're going to be so ignorant, at least form an original, logical, and valid argument. Second, there seems to be a mentality that one cannot possibly support both traditional and gay marriage. People, there IS such a thing as just simply being pro-MARRIAGE. Making that [lifelong] commitment to someone is sacred and remarkable regardless of who you are committing to.
As a simple reminder and general rule of thumb, remember to listen twice as much as you speak, for you have two ears but only one mouth.
- By middleoftheroad on 09 / 02 / 14
CommentsOkay you simpleton. Is beastialty a sin or is homosexuality a sin? Are they both sins? Why is one unnatural relationship ok and the other one not okay. It has been said that within 25 years humans will have relations with robots. If I love my robot and my robot loves me then whats the problem. Maintenance on my robot won't be cheap. Why shouldn't my employer be forced to extend health insurance coverage to my robot if that's who I choose to be with. You may not agree with it or like it but why shouldn't you be forced to recognize it. If somone does not agree with homosexuality or want their government recognizing marriage as anything other than what it has been for the last thousand years why can certain minds only imagine the reason is hate or fear? If you keep focusing on that line in the middle of the road you are gonna keep missing things.
- By Get off the road once in a while on 09 / 04 / 14
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